8 Effective Communication Skills That Will Make You A Better Communicator

Communicating in way that inspires your listener and moves them to where you want them to be.

By Ishola Ayodele (ANIPR) Result Driven Communication Expert.

An effective communication skill makes it so much easier to be understood and listened to, leaving you feeling much calmer and more appreciated, thus eliminating a lot of tension that people have in their lives.(speakthemovie.com)

To communicate in other to move people to where you want them to be requires understanding where they are presently and why they are there (in term of their reasoning, ideology or perception.)

Communication is not all about talking or getting an applause. This has been the major draw back of most motivational talks, people applauded the speaker then went back to their old attitudes.

Effective communication seeks to change people's behaviour by first acknowledging their differences and perspectives of life then getting them to see a clear picture of things in their minds so they begin to see things the way they are.  This enable the people to discover the truth by themselves and accept it as their own without being forced or feeling humiliated into accepting the other person's opinion.

Here are some 8 Effective communication skills that can help boost your career and relationship.

1. Give them the impression that you’re
enthusiastic about talking to them.

They want to feel that you would rather be talking to them than anyone else. When you give them the impression that you are excited about talking to them and that you care about them, you make them feel better about themselves. As a result, they’ll be more likely to really open up to you.

2. Ask open-ended questions about

their interests. 

Ask questions that will get them to talk about their interests and their life in a way that provides you with insight into their needs and wants.

When you help them gain a new, positive perspective about their situation, they will feel a deep sense of

connection with you.

3. Adapt to their body language and

feelings. 

Pay special attention to their

nonverbal communication. Watch their body language and posture, also take

note of their inflection and word choices. Now, tailor your words, body

language , and voice tone to match what

you have observed. Doing this will help

them feel a deep subconscious

connection with you.

4. Show them approval: Tell them what

you admire about them and why. 

One of the best ways to instantly connect with people is to be forthright and tell them exactly why you like or admire them. If being too direct isn’t appropriate, insinuate with a few indirect statements here and there. Either approach can be equally as effective because everyone responds well to approval.

5. Listen attentively to everything they

say. 

Don’t focus too much on what

you’re going to say next as they are

talking. Instead, listen to every word

they say and respond back as relevantly

and smoothly as possible. This shows

people that you are interested in what

they have to say and you are fully

engaged and in the moment with them.

Also make sure to ask questions

whenever there’s something they say

that you don’t quite understand. This

will help fill any potentially awkward

lapses in communication.

6. Respect the other person's opinion.

People won't care about your facts and genuine opinion if you make them feel they are stupid for having such opinions. At best they keep their grudges inside them if you are their boss, at worst they will insult you back and the discussion becomes an argument and then a disputes.

But If people felt that you respected their point of views and have listened attentively to them, they will reciprocate by respecting your opinion too and may want to give it a consideration because they would have been able to understood your point of view too and even if they won't accept your views they will be polite about it.

They beauty of this skill is that it paves the way for another meeting to rediscuss this same issue with open mind.


7. Try to focus on the hidden interest of the other person.

See from the other person's perspectives by putting yourself in his/her shoe. You will never be able to get the other person to understand you if you do not seek to understand him/her first.

If you focus on what he/she is saying and why he/she is saying such thing you will be able to understand the hidden interest.

Sometimes, 50/50 may not be the best solution. Yes, it may be 70/30 or 60/40 or even 20/80 if we really understand the hidden drive or interest that people really have in an issue.


In their book titled *GETTING TO YES*(Negotiating an agreement without giving in) Roger Fisher and William Ury illustrated this idea masterfully with the story of two sisters fighting over an orange. The elder wanted to bake a cake so she needs it and younger sister wants to eat the orange. For a win-win solution they divided the orange into two. But If each had focused on the hidden interest of the other. They would have realised that the elder sister only needed the orange peel  while the younger sister needed just the juice.

Understanding their interest you see that each actually got less than she could have gotten instead of equal share. Therefore, it becomes imperative that we focus our communication lens to see through the fog of apparent argument and look deep into the reasoning behind the argument to understand the hidden interest of people for effective communication to take place.


8. Acknowledge gender or age differences.

You must learn that different audience require different approach of responses. Many communication breakdown can be attributed to the lack of this skill especially in marriage or relationship.
We are not all the same, we process information differently.

One effective communication mistake is over-looking the acknowledgment of gender differences in communication. It may sound stereotypical, but men often communicate on a factual level, because they analyse issues but women communicate on an emotional level because they synthesis. It can lead to misunderstandings amongst the people who lacks this communication skill.
For instance,
Men quarrel over present issue and its effect on him or his Spouse. Women quarrel over a over a trend of events that they perceived may have negative consequences on the relationship or the children and their well being.

So, be mindful of your responses when discussing with opposite sex, youth, adolescents or children. Either of these people have their own peculiarities and you much treat them as such.
Remember, Effective communication is not a one size fits all thing.

Please share your thoughts with me by leaving a comment in the post a comment box below.

Ishola Nasirdeen Ayodele is a Public Relations Practitioner, An author and an effective leadership communication coach. 

He is on hand to provide you, your association or business the following beneficial services:

• Effective Communication Strategies for Outstanding leadership success, Unprecedented Political triumph and Exceptional Marketing breakthrough.
• Thought provoking and action propelling motivational speeches.
• Impactful Presentation Coaching. 
• Reputation and Image management. 

For enquires or booking call   08077932282 or  email: isholaayodele77@gmail.com  

           

                Connect with him on

                facebook.com/Ay.ishola ,

    twitter @ishopr,

    BBM 58ED6030

How Your Sleeping Position Is Connected To Your Personality

SLEEPING POSITIONS

how do you sleep?

A sleep study undertaken by specialists in London have discovered that there is a connection between your sleeping position and your personality.

The study found that there are six main sleeping positions and those that shared the same positions also had the same personality.

1. The Fetus – Curled Up With One Arm Under The Pillow.

You are strong on the outside but sensitive and vulnerable on the inside. You are also shy when meeting new people but eventually warm up to them.


2. The Log – On The Side With Arms And Legs Straight.

You are very trusting, easygoing and love to socialize but sometimes a bit gullible.


3. The Yearner – Similar To The Log But With Arms Stretched Out.

You are very open to people and experiences but slightly cynical. You are cautious and slow at making decisions but once decided you usually stick to your decision.


4. The Soldier – Flat On Your Back With Arms And Legs Straight.

You are shy and reserved. You also set high expectations for yourself and others which leads to being very judgmental.


5. The Freefaller – Lying On Your Stomach Hugging The Pillow
You are bold and love to socialize but find it really hard to take criticism.


6. The Starfish – On Your Back With Arms Floating Around Your Head.

You are friendly and also very humble. You like to help others but hate being the center of attention.

Thus, next time you sleep have your spouse or friend snap a pics of you so that you can know your sleeping position. (just being funny) 😀

Ishola Ayodele is the CEO of Bezit Global Link Limited and the Facilitator of Success Attitude Development And Empowerment Centre (SADEC)

A Public Relations practitioner and a
member of Nigerian Institute of Public Relations.

He offers the following services for Large Corporations, SMEs and Individuals.

Result Oriented communication,

Effective Crisis Communication,

Reputation & Political Communication,

And Impactful Presentation.

Connect with me and let us learn more from each other.

Twitter handle: @ishopr
WhatsApp number 08077932282
BBM 58ED6030

Please share your thoughts with me by leaving a comment just click on post a comment below. Thanks

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How To Become Indispensable At What You Do

Becoming The Go-to Person That Everyone Counts on.
 by Ishola Ayodele (ANIPR), Result oriented communication Expert.

Does your absence cause a halt or slows down work at your workplace?


The amount of money you will earn in your life will be determined by three things

1. The NEED for what you do.

2. Your ABILITY to do it.

3. And being INDISPENSABLE.

Some people mistake indispensable for irreplaceable, says Amy Hoover, president of Talent ZOO but they’re not the same thing.
“As they say, everyone can be replaced. But to be indispensable means that you are so good and efficient at your job, that your boss and co-workers don’t want to imagine replacing you,”

she says. “You are the go-to person they
count on; the one who simply gets things done.”

Andy Teach, author of the book "From Graduation to Corporation" , and host of the YouTube channel FromGradToCorp said, “In the minds of your supervisors and perhaps your co-workers, you are essential to the overall success of the department or even the company. Their feeling is that you are a necessary and valued part of the machine. They depend on you.”

Rita Friedman, a Philadelphia-based career coach and resume writer said, “in any workplace, you’ll still find people who are absolutely indispensable – that is to say that productivity would grind to a halt if
they were suddenly no longer there.

And it’s not just C-level executives who hold this distinction; it could be an employee at any level in any department of the organization.”

ADVANTAGES OF   BEING INDISPENSABLE  

A. There is a great feeling of satisfaction in a job well done and knowing that you’re making an impact.
“In this day and age when employee job satisfaction is nearly at an all-time low, it’s a great goal to have.”

B. Being indispensable can help your morale because you’re going to enjoy your job more knowing how valuable you are to the company,” he says. “It not only makes you feel that you’re
contributing to something greater
than yourself, but it also provides you with validation of what you do and who you are.”

C. Being indispensable also puts you in
a comfort zone because you won’t
have to worry as much about losing your job, “which is one less stress you won’t have to endure,” he adds.
“You have greater job security—and will (hopefully) be the last one to go if your department or company is forced to make layoffs.”

D. You’re more likely to get a raise or promotion; and you may be sought out for your special projects, opinions, and direction, says Marsha Enga

Do you Want to be indispensable now?

HERE IS HOW TO BE INDISPENSABLE

1. Do Work That Matters, Not Work That’s Easy.

Brian Tracy book "The Enemy Call Average" says it all, nobody will ever notice you for being an average staff or colleague.

To do work that matters you must make sure that you are doing work that are meaningful to the development and growth of your company and your career.

Let this words of wisdom from Jim Collins guide you
“For, in the end, it is impossible to have a great life unless it is a meaningful life. And it is very difficult to have a meaningful life without meaningful work.”


2. Monopolize A Particular Skill.

Become so good at a particular skill that is sought after in your field that whenever anybody thinks of doing that job they think of you.

Israelmore Ayivor made himself indispensable by putting it excellently well in his poem

"Everybody is standing, but you must stand out.

Everybody is breaking grounds; but you must breakthrough!

Everybody scratching it; but you must scratch it hard!

Everybody is going, but you must keep going extra miles!

Dare to be exceptionally excellent and why not?"


3. Be Willing To Go The Extra Mile.

Be prepared to rinse the cottage like Jim Collins said in his book "Good to Great".
The way to add value to yourself and become indispensable is to do more than you are paid to do.  Success in life comes from what you do after what you are expected to do.
Here are 4Cs that will help you go the extra mile.
Consistency,
Commitment,
Creativity,
and Competency.


4. Don't Be A Go-For Manager.

These are employees who just executed. They are just like errand boys. If your days at work is nothing but go for this, go for that without any input from you then you know you are a go-for manager. Expert will call this a hiring mistake.

But if you’re one of the few who are constantly coming up with new ideas and are taking on new responsibilities you will become indispensable. And you become an asset to the company.

Jim Collins puts it masterfully well when he wrote,
“The moment you feel the need to tightly manage someone, you’ve made a hiring mistake. The best people don’t need to be managed. Guided, taught, led–yes. But not tightly managed.”


5. Help Others Without Expecting Much In Return.

Be a team player who helps his/her team members succeed. The fastest to succeed is to help others succeed.
Little wonder Brian Tracy observed that,  "Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful people are always asking "What's in it for me?"

And Mohammed Ali believes,
"Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth".

6. Be Impeccable And Trustworthy.

People should be able to take your word to the bank. They should able to have faith in your integrity to do what you have promised to do and believe that you won't betrayed them on an agreement. When they close their eyes to jump because you told them to they needn't be afraid it is deceit.
Mean what you say and only say what you mean. Be a man of honour and integrity.
President Muhammadu Buhari won the 2015 general election as an opposition candidate a feat that has never happened in Nigeria before 2015. Do you know why?
Nigerians didn't vote for Buhari because his is business tycoon,
He only owns a ranch of cattle

his level of education, No, he only had secondary school certificate before joining the army,

his charismatic nature, No, he is an introvert,

His erudite speeches, No, he is reticent who will rather act than talk.

Then why? INTEGRITY.  Nigerians considered all politicians corrupt except Muhammadu Buhari even his opponents attest to his integrity.


7. Be Honest, Open And Adaptable.

The law of divine economics States that, "you will always get back in many folds whatever you lose by being HONEST".

Be honest, and you will have nothing to hide. You can only fool some people some times you cannot fool all the people all the time.

This is why Mark Twain said, " Truth is the most valuable thing we have, so I try to conserve it.


8. Build Relationships With Senior Managers.

 Be amiable to everyone. Do favours for people, help your superior get better at what they do. Don't look for their mistakes to bring them down, even if you see their fault and they don't use wisdom to correct them.
For instance, you have a manager that has problem keeping to time. Present him a good book on 'Time Management' on his next birthday or any open opportunity. You will be making impact in his life and thus you are adding to your own emotional bank account with him.
 Remember "people don't care how much you know until you show them how much you care"  so said Zig Ziglar.

In a nutshell,
The true and enduring route to greatness is to add so much value to yourself that people can't do without you.

This is what is called being INDISPENSABLE

I leave you with this powerful thought provoking words of wisdom from the great Leo Rosten(American humorist in the fields of scriptwriting, storywriting, journalism and Yiddish lexicography) from his book "The Education of Hyman Kaplan"
"The purpose of life is not to be happy — but to matter , to be productive, to be useful, to have it make some difference that you have lived at all".

Please share your thoughts with me by   leaving a comment by clicking the post a comment box below. Thanks

Ishola Ayodele is the CEO of Bezit Global Link Limited and the Facilitator of Success Attitude Development And Empowerment Centre (SADEC)
A Public Relations practitioner and a
member of Nigerian Institute of Public Relations.
He offers the following services for Large Corporations, SMEs and Individuals.
Result Oriented communication, Effective Crisis Communication,
Reputation & Political Communication, And Impactful Presentation.

Twitter handle: @ishopr
WhatsApp number 08077932282
BBM 58ED6030

For more useful articles click this link
www.isholamindresources.blogspot.nl