8 Effective Communication Skills That Will Make You A Better Communicator

Communicating in way that inspires your listener and moves them to where you want them to be.

By Ishola Ayodele (ANIPR) Result Driven Communication Expert.

An effective communication skill makes it so much easier to be understood and listened to, leaving you feeling much calmer and more appreciated, thus eliminating a lot of tension that people have in their lives.(speakthemovie.com)

To communicate in other to move people to where you want them to be requires understanding where they are presently and why they are there (in term of their reasoning, ideology or perception.)

Communication is not all about talking or getting an applause. This has been the major draw back of most motivational talks, people applauded the speaker then went back to their old attitudes.

Effective communication seeks to change people's behaviour by first acknowledging their differences and perspectives of life then getting them to see a clear picture of things in their minds so they begin to see things the way they are.  This enable the people to discover the truth by themselves and accept it as their own without being forced or feeling humiliated into accepting the other person's opinion.

Here are some 8 Effective communication skills that can help boost your career and relationship.

1. Give them the impression that you’re
enthusiastic about talking to them.

They want to feel that you would rather be talking to them than anyone else. When you give them the impression that you are excited about talking to them and that you care about them, you make them feel better about themselves. As a result, they’ll be more likely to really open up to you.

2. Ask open-ended questions about

their interests. 

Ask questions that will get them to talk about their interests and their life in a way that provides you with insight into their needs and wants.

When you help them gain a new, positive perspective about their situation, they will feel a deep sense of

connection with you.

3. Adapt to their body language and

feelings. 

Pay special attention to their

nonverbal communication. Watch their body language and posture, also take

note of their inflection and word choices. Now, tailor your words, body

language , and voice tone to match what

you have observed. Doing this will help

them feel a deep subconscious

connection with you.

4. Show them approval: Tell them what

you admire about them and why. 

One of the best ways to instantly connect with people is to be forthright and tell them exactly why you like or admire them. If being too direct isn’t appropriate, insinuate with a few indirect statements here and there. Either approach can be equally as effective because everyone responds well to approval.

5. Listen attentively to everything they

say. 

Don’t focus too much on what

you’re going to say next as they are

talking. Instead, listen to every word

they say and respond back as relevantly

and smoothly as possible. This shows

people that you are interested in what

they have to say and you are fully

engaged and in the moment with them.

Also make sure to ask questions

whenever there’s something they say

that you don’t quite understand. This

will help fill any potentially awkward

lapses in communication.

6. Respect the other person's opinion.

People won't care about your facts and genuine opinion if you make them feel they are stupid for having such opinions. At best they keep their grudges inside them if you are their boss, at worst they will insult you back and the discussion becomes an argument and then a disputes.

But If people felt that you respected their point of views and have listened attentively to them, they will reciprocate by respecting your opinion too and may want to give it a consideration because they would have been able to understood your point of view too and even if they won't accept your views they will be polite about it.

They beauty of this skill is that it paves the way for another meeting to rediscuss this same issue with open mind.


7. Try to focus on the hidden interest of the other person.

See from the other person's perspectives by putting yourself in his/her shoe. You will never be able to get the other person to understand you if you do not seek to understand him/her first.

If you focus on what he/she is saying and why he/she is saying such thing you will be able to understand the hidden interest.

Sometimes, 50/50 may not be the best solution. Yes, it may be 70/30 or 60/40 or even 20/80 if we really understand the hidden drive or interest that people really have in an issue.


In their book titled *GETTING TO YES*(Negotiating an agreement without giving in) Roger Fisher and William Ury illustrated this idea masterfully with the story of two sisters fighting over an orange. The elder wanted to bake a cake so she needs it and younger sister wants to eat the orange. For a win-win solution they divided the orange into two. But If each had focused on the hidden interest of the other. They would have realised that the elder sister only needed the orange peel  while the younger sister needed just the juice.

Understanding their interest you see that each actually got less than she could have gotten instead of equal share. Therefore, it becomes imperative that we focus our communication lens to see through the fog of apparent argument and look deep into the reasoning behind the argument to understand the hidden interest of people for effective communication to take place.


8. Acknowledge gender or age differences.

You must learn that different audience require different approach of responses. Many communication breakdown can be attributed to the lack of this skill especially in marriage or relationship.
We are not all the same, we process information differently.

One effective communication mistake is over-looking the acknowledgment of gender differences in communication. It may sound stereotypical, but men often communicate on a factual level, because they analyse issues but women communicate on an emotional level because they synthesis. It can lead to misunderstandings amongst the people who lacks this communication skill.
For instance,
Men quarrel over present issue and its effect on him or his Spouse. Women quarrel over a over a trend of events that they perceived may have negative consequences on the relationship or the children and their well being.

So, be mindful of your responses when discussing with opposite sex, youth, adolescents or children. Either of these people have their own peculiarities and you much treat them as such.
Remember, Effective communication is not a one size fits all thing.

Please share your thoughts with me by leaving a comment in the post a comment box below.

Ishola Nasirdeen Ayodele is a Public Relations Practitioner, An author and an effective leadership communication coach. 

He is on hand to provide you, your association or business the following beneficial services:

• Effective Communication Strategies for Outstanding leadership success, Unprecedented Political triumph and Exceptional Marketing breakthrough.
• Thought provoking and action propelling motivational speeches.
• Impactful Presentation Coaching. 
• Reputation and Image management. 

For enquires or booking call   08077932282 or  email: isholaayodele77@gmail.com  

           

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    twitter @ishopr,

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How Your Sleeping Position Is Connected To Your Personality

SLEEPING POSITIONS

how do you sleep?

A sleep study undertaken by specialists in London have discovered that there is a connection between your sleeping position and your personality.

The study found that there are six main sleeping positions and those that shared the same positions also had the same personality.

1. The Fetus – Curled Up With One Arm Under The Pillow.

You are strong on the outside but sensitive and vulnerable on the inside. You are also shy when meeting new people but eventually warm up to them.


2. The Log – On The Side With Arms And Legs Straight.

You are very trusting, easygoing and love to socialize but sometimes a bit gullible.


3. The Yearner – Similar To The Log But With Arms Stretched Out.

You are very open to people and experiences but slightly cynical. You are cautious and slow at making decisions but once decided you usually stick to your decision.


4. The Soldier – Flat On Your Back With Arms And Legs Straight.

You are shy and reserved. You also set high expectations for yourself and others which leads to being very judgmental.


5. The Freefaller – Lying On Your Stomach Hugging The Pillow
You are bold and love to socialize but find it really hard to take criticism.


6. The Starfish – On Your Back With Arms Floating Around Your Head.

You are friendly and also very humble. You like to help others but hate being the center of attention.

Thus, next time you sleep have your spouse or friend snap a pics of you so that you can know your sleeping position. (just being funny) 😀

Ishola Ayodele is the CEO of Bezit Global Link Limited and the Facilitator of Success Attitude Development And Empowerment Centre (SADEC)

A Public Relations practitioner and a
member of Nigerian Institute of Public Relations.

He offers the following services for Large Corporations, SMEs and Individuals.

Result Oriented communication,

Effective Crisis Communication,

Reputation & Political Communication,

And Impactful Presentation.

Connect with me and let us learn more from each other.

Twitter handle: @ishopr
WhatsApp number 08077932282
BBM 58ED6030

Please share your thoughts with me by leaving a comment just click on post a comment below. Thanks

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or copy and paste the link below  into your browser    
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How To Become Indispensable At What You Do

Becoming The Go-to Person That Everyone Counts on.
 by Ishola Ayodele (ANIPR), Result oriented communication Expert.

Does your absence cause a halt or slows down work at your workplace?


The amount of money you will earn in your life will be determined by three things

1. The NEED for what you do.

2. Your ABILITY to do it.

3. And being INDISPENSABLE.

Some people mistake indispensable for irreplaceable, says Amy Hoover, president of Talent ZOO but they’re not the same thing.
“As they say, everyone can be replaced. But to be indispensable means that you are so good and efficient at your job, that your boss and co-workers don’t want to imagine replacing you,”

she says. “You are the go-to person they
count on; the one who simply gets things done.”

Andy Teach, author of the book "From Graduation to Corporation" , and host of the YouTube channel FromGradToCorp said, “In the minds of your supervisors and perhaps your co-workers, you are essential to the overall success of the department or even the company. Their feeling is that you are a necessary and valued part of the machine. They depend on you.”

Rita Friedman, a Philadelphia-based career coach and resume writer said, “in any workplace, you’ll still find people who are absolutely indispensable – that is to say that productivity would grind to a halt if
they were suddenly no longer there.

And it’s not just C-level executives who hold this distinction; it could be an employee at any level in any department of the organization.”

ADVANTAGES OF   BEING INDISPENSABLE  

A. There is a great feeling of satisfaction in a job well done and knowing that you’re making an impact.
“In this day and age when employee job satisfaction is nearly at an all-time low, it’s a great goal to have.”

B. Being indispensable can help your morale because you’re going to enjoy your job more knowing how valuable you are to the company,” he says. “It not only makes you feel that you’re
contributing to something greater
than yourself, but it also provides you with validation of what you do and who you are.”

C. Being indispensable also puts you in
a comfort zone because you won’t
have to worry as much about losing your job, “which is one less stress you won’t have to endure,” he adds.
“You have greater job security—and will (hopefully) be the last one to go if your department or company is forced to make layoffs.”

D. You’re more likely to get a raise or promotion; and you may be sought out for your special projects, opinions, and direction, says Marsha Enga

Do you Want to be indispensable now?

HERE IS HOW TO BE INDISPENSABLE

1. Do Work That Matters, Not Work That’s Easy.

Brian Tracy book "The Enemy Call Average" says it all, nobody will ever notice you for being an average staff or colleague.

To do work that matters you must make sure that you are doing work that are meaningful to the development and growth of your company and your career.

Let this words of wisdom from Jim Collins guide you
“For, in the end, it is impossible to have a great life unless it is a meaningful life. And it is very difficult to have a meaningful life without meaningful work.”


2. Monopolize A Particular Skill.

Become so good at a particular skill that is sought after in your field that whenever anybody thinks of doing that job they think of you.

Israelmore Ayivor made himself indispensable by putting it excellently well in his poem

"Everybody is standing, but you must stand out.

Everybody is breaking grounds; but you must breakthrough!

Everybody scratching it; but you must scratch it hard!

Everybody is going, but you must keep going extra miles!

Dare to be exceptionally excellent and why not?"


3. Be Willing To Go The Extra Mile.

Be prepared to rinse the cottage like Jim Collins said in his book "Good to Great".
The way to add value to yourself and become indispensable is to do more than you are paid to do.  Success in life comes from what you do after what you are expected to do.
Here are 4Cs that will help you go the extra mile.
Consistency,
Commitment,
Creativity,
and Competency.


4. Don't Be A Go-For Manager.

These are employees who just executed. They are just like errand boys. If your days at work is nothing but go for this, go for that without any input from you then you know you are a go-for manager. Expert will call this a hiring mistake.

But if you’re one of the few who are constantly coming up with new ideas and are taking on new responsibilities you will become indispensable. And you become an asset to the company.

Jim Collins puts it masterfully well when he wrote,
“The moment you feel the need to tightly manage someone, you’ve made a hiring mistake. The best people don’t need to be managed. Guided, taught, led–yes. But not tightly managed.”


5. Help Others Without Expecting Much In Return.

Be a team player who helps his/her team members succeed. The fastest to succeed is to help others succeed.
Little wonder Brian Tracy observed that,  "Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful people are always asking "What's in it for me?"

And Mohammed Ali believes,
"Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth".

6. Be Impeccable And Trustworthy.

People should be able to take your word to the bank. They should able to have faith in your integrity to do what you have promised to do and believe that you won't betrayed them on an agreement. When they close their eyes to jump because you told them to they needn't be afraid it is deceit.
Mean what you say and only say what you mean. Be a man of honour and integrity.
President Muhammadu Buhari won the 2015 general election as an opposition candidate a feat that has never happened in Nigeria before 2015. Do you know why?
Nigerians didn't vote for Buhari because his is business tycoon,
He only owns a ranch of cattle

his level of education, No, he only had secondary school certificate before joining the army,

his charismatic nature, No, he is an introvert,

His erudite speeches, No, he is reticent who will rather act than talk.

Then why? INTEGRITY.  Nigerians considered all politicians corrupt except Muhammadu Buhari even his opponents attest to his integrity.


7. Be Honest, Open And Adaptable.

The law of divine economics States that, "you will always get back in many folds whatever you lose by being HONEST".

Be honest, and you will have nothing to hide. You can only fool some people some times you cannot fool all the people all the time.

This is why Mark Twain said, " Truth is the most valuable thing we have, so I try to conserve it.


8. Build Relationships With Senior Managers.

 Be amiable to everyone. Do favours for people, help your superior get better at what they do. Don't look for their mistakes to bring them down, even if you see their fault and they don't use wisdom to correct them.
For instance, you have a manager that has problem keeping to time. Present him a good book on 'Time Management' on his next birthday or any open opportunity. You will be making impact in his life and thus you are adding to your own emotional bank account with him.
 Remember "people don't care how much you know until you show them how much you care"  so said Zig Ziglar.

In a nutshell,
The true and enduring route to greatness is to add so much value to yourself that people can't do without you.

This is what is called being INDISPENSABLE

I leave you with this powerful thought provoking words of wisdom from the great Leo Rosten(American humorist in the fields of scriptwriting, storywriting, journalism and Yiddish lexicography) from his book "The Education of Hyman Kaplan"
"The purpose of life is not to be happy — but to matter , to be productive, to be useful, to have it make some difference that you have lived at all".

Please share your thoughts with me by   leaving a comment by clicking the post a comment box below. Thanks

Ishola Ayodele is the CEO of Bezit Global Link Limited and the Facilitator of Success Attitude Development And Empowerment Centre (SADEC)
A Public Relations practitioner and a
member of Nigerian Institute of Public Relations.
He offers the following services for Large Corporations, SMEs and Individuals.
Result Oriented communication, Effective Crisis Communication,
Reputation & Political Communication, And Impactful Presentation.

Twitter handle: @ishopr
WhatsApp number 08077932282
BBM 58ED6030

For more useful articles click this link
www.isholamindresources.blogspot.nl 

Research: How To Be More Intelligent And Smarter Than We Are Now.

Just How Smart And Intelligent Can We Be?

Written by Ishola Ayodele (ANIPR), An Effectual Communication Expert.


EXPLORING THE BRAIN

The brain has about 100 billion neurons. The synapse (that is the gap between two neurons) is 100 trillion
Which equals the number of emails sent in a year.  And for learning to take place information must pass through the synapses.

Highly intelligent people are people whose synapses facilitate easy movement of information from one neuron to another.

And people who struggle with learning are those whose synapses do not allow the passage of information easily.
The brain has ridges or folds called "GYRI" which contains billion of nerve cells and the gap between the GYRI is the SULCI. So,  the sizes of human brains are not the same, the more the folds the more the brain power.

The frontal lobe plays a very important role in who we are for it coordinates our
I. Behaviour
II. Planning
III. Understanding what we are going to do next.
IV. Staying organised.

There is a part of this frontal lobe that controls our fingers. And most people who use their fingers a lot like violinist, pianist or typist develop a special pattern of GYRI in the front of the frontal lobe.
A very important part of the brain is the parietal lobe which is just behind the frontal lobe.

The parietal lobe is responsible for
I. how we form picture of things around us.
II. 3D image rotation.
III. Spacial imaging.

A research on the best mathematics junior student in the world, 13 year old SHYAM NARAYANAN using the FMRI machine shows that he uses more of his parietal lobe to solve mathematics.

Further researches also show that most mathematically gifted kids use these area five to six times more than average students.

Albert Einstein was regarded as the greatest scientist to ever lived. It was discovered that Einstein's parietal lobe is 15% larger than any other person in the world.

Albert Einstein's brain is currently being stored at the University Medical Center at Princeton.
It is believed that Einstein and other great scientists uses a large percentage of their parietal lobes while some many others use just a little percentage which accounts for why they are not genii.
Research has shown that we can actually develop our parietal lobe through some carefully planned process.
Because the brain has been designed to increase in capacity with continual usage.

Here are some few things that can make you too a genius if you practice it well.

1. Take omega 3, 6, 9
Omega 3,6,9 improves the passage of information from one neuron to another.

A research on some dormant brain children who lack interest in reading or learning shows considerably increase in the desire to learn and an significant improvement in their reading and writing after they were given omega 3 six times a day for some weeks.
Omega 3, 6, 9 can be found in fish oil  eg
Halibut
Herring
Mackerel
Oysters
Salmon
Sardines
Cod liver oil
grapeseed oil,
pumpkin seeds,
Pignolia (pine) nuts,
pistachio nuts,
raw sunflower seeds (raw),
borage oil,
Olive oil (extra virgin or virgin), olives,
avocados,
almonds,
peanuts,
sesame oil,
pecans,
pistachio nuts,
cashews,
hazelnuts,
macadamia nuts


2. Engage in moderate exercises :
 this will boost the circulation of blood to your brain and nourish your brain with oxygenated blood.

3. Juggle balls or other things maybe plastic bottles or coins. The process of juggling keeps you focus and make the brain function optimally.

4. Take brain task like
Puzzle
Logical questions
Brain teasers etc

5. Use more of your weak part. It has been discovered that our left part of the  brain control our right side of the body. That is your right hand is controlled by your left brain.

So, if you are right handed you use more of your left brain thus that region develop while your right part of the  brain remain less active.
Use more of your left hand too to develop your brain equally. I am currently typing with my left hand though I'm right handed.

6. Last  but not the  least. SLEEP:
 please get enough sleep, for proper functioning of your brain you must have at least six(6) hours sleep.
Recent research has shown that sleeping around 9-10pm is even better.

I'm currently compiling some  information on how to really develop the brain so as to become smarter and other great stuff that will help you get better in your career. Both PDFs and videos.
To get this information just follow me on WhatsApp 08077932282 or visit
http://goo.gl/p0kMv0

Please kindly leave a comment by clicking the post a comment box below. Thanks

Ishola Ayodele is a communication expert that helps leaders, corporation and individuals communicate in a meaningful and effectual way that yields the desired result.

NOTE
I'm not an expert on brain or neurology.
My attempt here is to share my little understanding based on the little knowledge have acquired because I care about you.
The best thing you can do to those you love is to benefit them with knowledge you have benefitted from.  So,  share this info with others.
Written by Ishola Ayodele

The True Path To Ensuring Success & Happiness

               SELF-CONTROL
"The true virtue of success and happiness"
By
Ishola Ayodele (ANIPR)
Result Driven Communication Expert

According to a recent research by Wilhelm Hofmann and his team of researchers at the University of Chicago.
"People with a lot of self-control are happier".

Now I understand why
the great Greek philosopher Aristotle wrote I count him braver he who overcomes is desired than he who conquers is enemy, for the hardest victory is the victory over self.

Without self-control you can never enjoy a happy life. You will always jump from problem to another and you tend to be the destroyer of your own successful effort.

Without self-control you will always bring yourself and loved ones pain and suffering.

You will always hinder your success as well as success of those close to you. Consequently, people will desert you to protect their achievements and happiness.

Exercising great self-control or restrain is the backbone of all noteworthy achievement.

A man who cannot control himself can never control anything successfully.

If you cannot control yourself you cannot control the affairs of your life and if you cannot control the affairs of your life, you can never control the mechanisms that will attract success into your life,

You were created a chief executive officer of your company, yes, you are the C.E.O of your life, your business is the fulfillment of your purpose in life and your product is your Divine gift but just as any other business will run down if the owner is careless. Your life can also run down if you don't take proper control of it.

You must have sound self-control over your life to succeed. Here are four departments of your life you must exercise great self-control.

i. Your Speech.

It is said that words can make or break a man. You must learn to hold your tongue. It must not be allowed to roam carelessly. You must be very careful not to talk too much about your Divine gift with people, so that people wont think you are proud and also to prevent the envious people from side tracking or undermining your success.

You must not be careless to give out your ideas when you are discussing with people. This is because if the idea is sound but you dont have the means with which to actualize it now, someone with the where-withal among the people you were talking to might just pick it and before you know it, your idea has suddenly belong to someone else.

You must learn not to talk too much especially in front of people who are intelligent for any time you open your mouth too big in front of those who know you are either showing your ignorance or pride.



ii.     You must take control of your temper.
Prophet Muhammad once said A powerful man is not the man who conquers his fellow man but he who overcomes his temper in time of anger
Jesus Christ said If someone slaps you on the right cheek, you should turn the left cheek to him.
The nitty-gritty of these philosophies is that you cannot show the world how good you are at what you do by showing them how destructive or uncontrollable you can be at the time of anger.
Though, you may be born temperamental but it is purely your own decision whether to control it or to let it control you.

Taribo West was recommended to Carlous Ancelotti the then coach of Ac Milan  by George Weah of Liberia and the coach signed up Taribo for Ac Milan based on this recommendation. Taribo west was at the top of his career playing for one of the biggest and best team in the world then. It was a dream come true for him.

In one of the Ac Milans home matches, Taribo felt he was having a good match but the coach thought otherwise and opted to substitute him for another player.

The substitution was granted by the referee and as Taribo west crossed the line of the pitch to his bench he pulled off his jersey threw it at the coach and walked away into the dressing room.
The coach punished him by not featuring him in any of their matches for the whole season and soon he was not even on the bench anymore and finally Taribo west contract was terminated.

Any time you act in anger you do more destruction or damage to yourself and the people you love than good, because the first thing anger takes from a man is his sense of reasoning.



iii.     You must take control of your spending habit.

You cannot be emotionally sound to go after your Divine gift when you are in debt.

 Debt is a heavy burden which suppresses the idea and initiative of the bearer. A man in debt is like a horse tied to a loaded cart in a competitive race with other free horses.

If your Divine gift is to bring you financial gains, you must learn to delay gratification and cultivate the habit of saving.

To fully understand how to be able to save purposefully, get a copy of my CD The basic principle of saving.

Whatever you have on you now save ten percent (10%) of it, if you do this now you are the right man that Napoleon Bonaparte was talking about when he said The right man is the man who do things now.

You must never let what you like direct your spending habit but what you need because anytime you buy what you like rather than what you need you are foolishly impoverishing yourself to enrich another man.

"Poverty can never be far from a man who earns to spend" so says Pastor Mathew Ashimolowo.


iv.       You must take control of your mind.
For you to be able to conquer yourself, you must have total control of your mind. If you cannot control your mind you cannot make decision yourself, consequently, other people will make decision for you.
It should be noted that mind control is simply Thought control. Your thoughts are the weapon with which you can kill your fears and awake that genius in you to fulfill your purpose in life because it add value to your believe.
And it is said that

A man's value determines his believe,
His believe determines his expectations.
His expectations determines his attitude
His attitude determines his actions.
And his action becomes his character.
Thoughts are things and they should be treated as such. You must control the type of thoughts that you feed your mind or that is suggested to your mind by other people.

Let your mind be pervaded with the thought of the fulfillment of your purpose in life and also of your ability to make it in life with your Divine gift and all the circumstances and people you need for this accomplishment will come your way through the law of attraction.

After Napoleon Bonaparte became the king of France, he became obsessed with power and rather than possessing power, he lost is mind and power possessed him.

First, he drove away his wife Josephine the only woman that had loved him and always advice him. Then he wanted to conquer the world but soon he met his waterloo.

Mind control is the remote with which you can control any feeling you may have, be it anger, hatred, love and even sexual desire.

No matter where you are starting from in life you can always achieve anything you desire if only you can exercise great self control.  
Little wonder, After series of investigation and documentations of men who have failed due to lack of self-control in his book "THE LAW OF SUCCESS" Volume I-III
Napoleon Hill came to the conclusion that, "No man who exercises great self-control can permanently be defeated by life"

And  Pietro Aretino told the world "I am indeed a king, because I know how to rule myself".

Exercise self-control and live a happy and successful life.

Please Click on a post a comment box below to share your thoughts with me.

Written by Ishola Ayodele (ANIPR)
Result Driven Communication Expert.
CEO Bezit Global Link Limited.
Proprietor of Paragon of Excellence Int'l School.
@ishopr on Twitter
Facebook.com/ay.ishola
08077932282 on WhatsApp 

How To Communicate For Impact

ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION
written by Ishola Ayodele (ANIPR)

Assertive communication is the ability to honestly express your thoughts, opinions, feeling, attitudes and rights with confidence in a manner that doesn't infringe on the right or honour of others.

This should not be confused with aggression.

Aggression: This involves
1. Forcing your opinions on others.
2. Bullying people to move in your direction.
3. Only your need matters.
4. always having it your way.
5. Becoming offensive when you realised you are holding unpopular view.
6. Always involve in win-lose relationship with others.
7. Always viewing your opinion is superior to others.
8. Always wanting to be understood without actually listening to what others are trying to pass.
9. Rooted in pride.

Assertiveness involves
1. Sincerely expressing your needs in a respectful way.
2. Considering the need of others as well as yours.
3. Communicating your thoughts, opinions or feeling clearly and honestly.
4. Accepting fault when you are guilty.
5. Willingness to drop your views or opinions for a more correct or update ones.
6. Always seeking first to understand the others' view before trying to be understood.
7. Focusing on problems and not position.
8. Always seeking a win-win situation when dealing with others.
9. Rooted in principle for right, justice and equity.

To be continued
Next will be looking at
1. Passive aggression
2. Barriers to communication.
3. Effective communication skills and strategies.

For more insightful thoughts and mind probing information visit
http://isholamindresources.blogspot.co.ke/?m=1

Please Click on post a comment box below to share your thoughts with me.

Ishola Ayodele is a Public Relations practitioner and a member of the Nigerian Institute of Public Relations. 

He offers the following services for Large Corporations, SMEs and Individuals 

Result Driven Communication, 

Effective Crisis Communication,

Political Communication, 

 Reputation and Image management, 

WhatsApp 08077932282

When to Stop Being and Start Doing

THE HUMAN BEING SYNDROM
   (THE PRINCIPLE OF TAKING PURPOSEFUL ACTION)

I believe you are a human being, aren’t you?
Do you know what?

I am not a human being, All the achievers the world has ever known were not human beings as well.

I know this may sound weird to you and you may probably think I’m joking but you can bet your life I am dead serious and I mean every word I said because if not for my not being a human being I wouldn’t have been who I am today.

Let me break it down for you, you see the term ‘HUMAN BEING was only
appropriate to refer to mankind when Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden.

Then God provided them with everything they needed and all they were doing was being (that is existing) but after they had eaten the forbidden fruit and was sent out of the garden of Eden, they started doing things like vending for food, seeking shelter and looking for things to cover their nakedness.

They were not just existing or being any more but were actually seriously working for survival, they were not just being but doing. In essence, they were no more ‘human being’ but ‘human doing’.

And ever since then a man’s success has always been a product of his own
perspiration. A farmer must sow to reap, a man must work to earn, a man must give to get, every woman must go through the pain of child labour to enjoy the joy of motherhood.

In conclusion, to be successful in life you must stop just being a human being
 and become a full blown ‘human doing’

Let me ask you a question,

From the amount of information you have gotten so far, do you think or belief you are going to be successful with your biz or talent?

Will you like me to be candid with you?

The fact of life is that “everybody cannot be successful”.

What this implies is that it is not everyone that will be successful, this is not a curse but the truth of life.

However, it is also a great truth of life that “Anybody can be successful”. What this also implies is that anybody can be successful if he/she desires.

In case you don’t know, the difference between the everybody that cannot be
successful and the anybody that can be successful is nothing but the determination and persistence with which you act on all the information you have gotten here as your success in life or business does not depend on the amount of information you have but what you do with it.

I want you to know that it is not enough to stare up the stairs you must step up the stairs. Have you ever seen a man that climbs a mountain by just looking at the it?

Take action, I repeat take action and not just any action but a purposeful and useful action because the principle of Action states that “ Action will always be taken either consciously or unconsciously”

Even an idle man has taken an action to do nothing, a man who is not busy
working on his success is inevitably busy working on his failure.                        
This is the reason a philosophy like “ a man who fail to plan, plans to fail” is an
eternal truth.

 So, you see at every point in your life an action will always be taken by you but that is no more the question, the question will always be “Is this action leading to your life and business success or your failure and doom?”.

I hope you understand why you have to take a purposeful and useful actions now.

So, think creatively to produce an innovative product or service that will fill the need of the people or device a unique marketing strategy to sell a particular product or service, which serves the need of the people.

I can’t but call your attention to this wonderful product, which is the secret
of all the millionaires the world has ever known. This product is also creating millionaires out of some people as I am talking to you right now.

No body, I repeat nobody who ever engages in the sales of this product ever
dies poor. This product was what Michael Jackson, Michael Jordan, Bill Gates, Jimoh Ibrahim, Sony Ojaejbese, Ubong Essien and even I sold to become millionaires. This is the product I have also sold to lift myself out of the abject
poverty into which I was born.

Will you like to know this almighty product?

If you will like to know it let me see you rise to your feet. Tell the person on
the right “this product is mine for the taking”, turn to the person on left
and tell him or her “this product shall make me the next millionaire”
And indeed, there is no aota of doubt that this product will make you a millionaire.

Sit now and give me your total attention and concentration as I unravel to you this divine product, which you cannot find anywhere because it resides in you. This product is not produce by any company in the world but your company. But I don’t have a company you may think?

The fact is that you are created with your own company and all you need to
do is to discover your product and start producing. In case you don’t know you were created with your product and that product is what I prefer to call
“divine gift” which other people call talent or potentials.
   
It is one thing that you are gifted at, one thing you can do better than other
things. That particular thing that you can never get bored of doing even if
you don’t get paid for it. I call it divine gift because it is uniquely yours, it
suits your physical, mental and spiritual nature.

And it also holds the key to your unlimited financial success. If only you will look deep into your passion to discover this divine gift. A copy of my book titled “AWAKENING THE GENIUS IN YOU” will help you to discover, develop and will also exposes you to how you can polish, packaged and market this your divine gift successfully.

With your divine gift well packaged, everyone will buy from you whether
directly or indirectly because you don’t need permission to sell your creativity in as much as you have not violated the right of others.

See, the sales of your divine gift has been ordained by your creator because if you don’t have anything to offer to the world you will not have been born in the first place.

The fact that you were born is a testimony that your creator who gave you the product has already mandated the world to patronize you if only you will choose to sell this product.

Joshua’s product was ability to interpret dreams and he sold it to wealth.

Bill Gate’s product was computer software and he sold it to become one of the richest man on earth.

Michael Jackson’s product was pop music and he sold it to affluence.

Oprah Winfred’s product was talk show and she sold it to become one of the
richest woman on earth.

Thomas Edison’s product was invention and he produced so much that one
sixth of the American population was employed for the mass production of
his inventions.

Professor Wole Soyinka’s product was literature and he sold it to
international honour and laurel,

Aliku Dangote’s product was business and he has produced so many that he
has become the second largest employer of labour in Nigeria second only to the federal government of Nigeria.

Jay-jay Okocha’s product was football and he sold it with so much dexterity
that we have found it difficult to find a replacement for him.

Ubong Essen’s product was motivational speaking and he sold it to million.

My own product is writing and speaking and I am presently selling it to so many people that I have started counting millions.

Your own product also resides in you and it could be anything but what I
know for sure is that it will certainly make you a millionaire if you choose to
sell it because if you discover and express your divine gift, it will express
you and the world will build an expressway to your door step to express their interest to pay you.
Remember this always

“What you think, know or
belief counts for nothing what
count most is, what you do”

Please click the post a comment box below to share your thoughts with me. Thanks

Ishola Ayodele is a Public Relations practitioner and a member of the Nigerian Institute of Public Relations.

He offers the following services for Large Corporations, SMEs and Individuals

Result Driven Communication,
Effective Crisis Communication,
Effectual Political Communication,
Reputation and Image management,
And Impactful Presentation Coaching.

He can be reached on 08077932282
WhatsApp 08077932282,
BBM 58ED6030,
twitter handle @ishopr