8 Effective Communication Skills That Will Make You A Better Communicator

Communicating in way that inspires your listener and moves them to where you want them to be.

By Ishola Ayodele (ANIPR) Result Driven Communication Expert.

An effective communication skill makes it so much easier to be understood and listened to, leaving you feeling much calmer and more appreciated, thus eliminating a lot of tension that people have in their lives.(speakthemovie.com)

To communicate in other to move people to where you want them to be requires understanding where they are presently and why they are there (in term of their reasoning, ideology or perception.)

Communication is not all about talking or getting an applause. This has been the major draw back of most motivational talks, people applauded the speaker then went back to their old attitudes.

Effective communication seeks to change people's behaviour by first acknowledging their differences and perspectives of life then getting them to see a clear picture of things in their minds so they begin to see things the way they are.  This enable the people to discover the truth by themselves and accept it as their own without being forced or feeling humiliated into accepting the other person's opinion.

Here are some 8 Effective communication skills that can help boost your career and relationship.

1. Give them the impression that you’re
enthusiastic about talking to them.

They want to feel that you would rather be talking to them than anyone else. When you give them the impression that you are excited about talking to them and that you care about them, you make them feel better about themselves. As a result, they’ll be more likely to really open up to you.

2. Ask open-ended questions about

their interests. 

Ask questions that will get them to talk about their interests and their life in a way that provides you with insight into their needs and wants.

When you help them gain a new, positive perspective about their situation, they will feel a deep sense of

connection with you.

3. Adapt to their body language and

feelings. 

Pay special attention to their

nonverbal communication. Watch their body language and posture, also take

note of their inflection and word choices. Now, tailor your words, body

language , and voice tone to match what

you have observed. Doing this will help

them feel a deep subconscious

connection with you.

4. Show them approval: Tell them what

you admire about them and why. 

One of the best ways to instantly connect with people is to be forthright and tell them exactly why you like or admire them. If being too direct isn’t appropriate, insinuate with a few indirect statements here and there. Either approach can be equally as effective because everyone responds well to approval.

5. Listen attentively to everything they

say. 

Don’t focus too much on what

you’re going to say next as they are

talking. Instead, listen to every word

they say and respond back as relevantly

and smoothly as possible. This shows

people that you are interested in what

they have to say and you are fully

engaged and in the moment with them.

Also make sure to ask questions

whenever there’s something they say

that you don’t quite understand. This

will help fill any potentially awkward

lapses in communication.

6. Respect the other person's opinion.

People won't care about your facts and genuine opinion if you make them feel they are stupid for having such opinions. At best they keep their grudges inside them if you are their boss, at worst they will insult you back and the discussion becomes an argument and then a disputes.

But If people felt that you respected their point of views and have listened attentively to them, they will reciprocate by respecting your opinion too and may want to give it a consideration because they would have been able to understood your point of view too and even if they won't accept your views they will be polite about it.

They beauty of this skill is that it paves the way for another meeting to rediscuss this same issue with open mind.


7. Try to focus on the hidden interest of the other person.

See from the other person's perspectives by putting yourself in his/her shoe. You will never be able to get the other person to understand you if you do not seek to understand him/her first.

If you focus on what he/she is saying and why he/she is saying such thing you will be able to understand the hidden interest.

Sometimes, 50/50 may not be the best solution. Yes, it may be 70/30 or 60/40 or even 20/80 if we really understand the hidden drive or interest that people really have in an issue.


In their book titled *GETTING TO YES*(Negotiating an agreement without giving in) Roger Fisher and William Ury illustrated this idea masterfully with the story of two sisters fighting over an orange. The elder wanted to bake a cake so she needs it and younger sister wants to eat the orange. For a win-win solution they divided the orange into two. But If each had focused on the hidden interest of the other. They would have realised that the elder sister only needed the orange peel  while the younger sister needed just the juice.

Understanding their interest you see that each actually got less than she could have gotten instead of equal share. Therefore, it becomes imperative that we focus our communication lens to see through the fog of apparent argument and look deep into the reasoning behind the argument to understand the hidden interest of people for effective communication to take place.


8. Acknowledge gender or age differences.

You must learn that different audience require different approach of responses. Many communication breakdown can be attributed to the lack of this skill especially in marriage or relationship.
We are not all the same, we process information differently.

One effective communication mistake is over-looking the acknowledgment of gender differences in communication. It may sound stereotypical, but men often communicate on a factual level, because they analyse issues but women communicate on an emotional level because they synthesis. It can lead to misunderstandings amongst the people who lacks this communication skill.
For instance,
Men quarrel over present issue and its effect on him or his Spouse. Women quarrel over a over a trend of events that they perceived may have negative consequences on the relationship or the children and their well being.

So, be mindful of your responses when discussing with opposite sex, youth, adolescents or children. Either of these people have their own peculiarities and you much treat them as such.
Remember, Effective communication is not a one size fits all thing.

Please share your thoughts with me by leaving a comment in the post a comment box below.

Ishola Nasirdeen Ayodele is a Public Relations Practitioner, An author and an effective leadership communication coach. 

He is on hand to provide you, your association or business the following beneficial services:

• Effective Communication Strategies for Outstanding leadership success, Unprecedented Political triumph and Exceptional Marketing breakthrough.
• Thought provoking and action propelling motivational speeches.
• Impactful Presentation Coaching. 
• Reputation and Image management. 

For enquires or booking call   08077932282 or  email: isholaayodele77@gmail.com  

           

                Connect with him on

                facebook.com/Ay.ishola ,

    twitter @ishopr,

    BBM 58ED6030